A Little Bent...Defined.
People are asking, "What does A Little Bent...mean?" Well, people, if it ain't straight, it's bent! I ain't straight, therefore, I'm a little bent!
Actually, when I first came out (in my early twenties) I had a difficult time trying to tell my friends that I was a dyko. I would ultimately invite them out for coffee and then--right in the middle of some unrelated conversation--I would just blurt out "I'm a little bent, you know". My friends would respond to this declaration knitting their eyebrows and then saying, "WHAT????"
"Well, you know...I'm bent!"
"No, I don't KNOW!"
"I'm bent..." I would say, and then raise my eyebrows and nod my head, as if this would help them figure out what the hell I was trying to tell them.
"Yeah, you're bent alright--right in the HEAD."
This always got me. My friends and I have always agreed that I'm a little off in the 'noggin area. But, still, how could they not understand what I was trying to tell them? Isn't it obvious that if something is a little bent that it's not straight?
Invariably, I would have to result to telling them point blank what it was that I was trying to tell them in a more pussy-footed fashion (no pun intended). I would always wait until we were in the middle of another unrelated discussion, then I would hit them with it:
"I'm GAY."
I would sit there, biting my lip in anticipation of them doing one of three things: either throwing their coffee at me and running out of the coffee shop all irate and dismayed; asking me how long I knew and why I didn't tell them sooner; or saying 'eew, you're not attracted to me, are you?' Of course, none of these three things ever happened. The only response I ever got from my declaration of being bent was this (and I quote):
"No sh*t!"
Actually, when I first came out (in my early twenties) I had a difficult time trying to tell my friends that I was a dyko. I would ultimately invite them out for coffee and then--right in the middle of some unrelated conversation--I would just blurt out "I'm a little bent, you know". My friends would respond to this declaration knitting their eyebrows and then saying, "WHAT????"
"Well, you know...I'm bent!"
"No, I don't KNOW!"
"I'm bent..." I would say, and then raise my eyebrows and nod my head, as if this would help them figure out what the hell I was trying to tell them.
"Yeah, you're bent alright--right in the HEAD."
This always got me. My friends and I have always agreed that I'm a little off in the 'noggin area. But, still, how could they not understand what I was trying to tell them? Isn't it obvious that if something is a little bent that it's not straight?
Invariably, I would have to result to telling them point blank what it was that I was trying to tell them in a more pussy-footed fashion (no pun intended). I would always wait until we were in the middle of another unrelated discussion, then I would hit them with it:
"I'm GAY."
I would sit there, biting my lip in anticipation of them doing one of three things: either throwing their coffee at me and running out of the coffee shop all irate and dismayed; asking me how long I knew and why I didn't tell them sooner; or saying 'eew, you're not attracted to me, are you?' Of course, none of these three things ever happened. The only response I ever got from my declaration of being bent was this (and I quote):
"No sh*t!"
tags: humor, about me, sexuality, A Little Bent
©2005 Marcy_Peanut. All rights reserved.
posted by Unknown at 4:03 PM
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21 Comments:
Isn't it amazing how you find your 'real friends' once you come out of the closet? I've lost a few good friends and kept my 'real' friends--which was important.
Bent? Hmmm..... Never heard of that one before.
I'm glad you came out and you're apart of 'our team' now!
Good for you! Must have been liberating.
{{hugs}}
You nimrod, I was talking about IN THE POSTS ITSELF! I'm gonna go ova'dare n slap ya silly girl!
Hi! just got your comment on my blog. (I'm a little slow getting to them, sometimes & yah I know I've got to do some cleaning & get rid of a few sites. Maybe, now that Christmas is over....
I'll keep in touch
I don't know what it's like to be gay & come out, but, anytime someone 'reveals' them self it's symbolically like nakedness. & also symbolically like freedom.
Come over & visit any time. :-)
I like the "in love with the Bionic Woman" while everyone else was in love with the 6-million dollar man" quote... Great stuff!
Erm... why did my response show up with your name on it?
My response is normaly: 'who cares? Can we go get our coffee now?'
No offense to the gay community (and Marcy_Peanut knows I'm prone to make fun of straight people just as much as I make fun of gays), but I don't understand why people make such a big freaking deal out of letting you know their sexual preference.
I don't gesture conspiratorially for a friend to come over, then whisper in their ear my dramatic confession, "Jimmy, I'm straight!"
It's the 21st Century. Just be who you are, and let everyone who doesn't dig it suck a big fat one (so to speak).
7:07 PM
Posted by Alex: http://noncompos.blogspot.com
Because I'm a little bent, that's why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DEB: Promises promises! :P
L>T: Hey, thanks for visiting my site. I'll be by to check yours out again! Do me a favor and email me, okay? I need to tell you something!
MOJOTEK: Well, it wasn't easy being me...you know. I loved Jamie and got no respect. I'm glad you have compassion for my 6th grade dilemma...I appreciate it.
BTW--come back again sometime!!! :)
ALEX: Believe it or not, back in the 80's and 90's it wasn't easy getting work in the photography business if you were out, no joke. Lot's of the photo editors were married with kids. It was a slippery slope. Even Annie Leibovitz wasn't out until she had a kid. Then everyone found out that she was partners with Susan Sontag.
I think the analogy of stating to one of your friends that you are 'straight' is rather weak. It's a TOTALLY different thing (of course, these days it's much easier to be out: Thank you Ellen!!). However, intimating that admitting you are straight is on the same line as admitting that you are gay is like saying the word 'honky' is just as scathing as the 'n' word. They both have different histories and meanings attached to them. Besides, if you told me you were straight, I wouldn't believe you. Most men who have blogs littered with naked women are trying to cover something up!!!! :P (Just kidding, of course!)
You should never hide who you are and what you believe in from anyone. It is your life to live any damn way you choose! :)
I am inclined to disagree, especially about the racial slurs. There is no good reason why one group of individuals should be allowed to use race-degrading epithets while another is not. History is just that - in the past. The only way people are going to live together in peace is if we can overcome whatever animosities the past has provided.
Look, for instance, at Islam. Since 680, at the Battle of Kharbala (sp?), their religious nation has been divided for 1300+ years, due merely to the succession of temporal leaders. This is a prime example of people unwilling to move on. It is a poignant reminder to those of us in America who think they have a legitimate beef with the rest of society.
Another example would be those idiots who think they should sue the government because some relative they never met was a slave. My people were enslaved by the Romans. By virtue of Gratian's Decretum, the Catholic Church sought to prove the donation of Constantine, and therefore claim to be the inheritors of the Roman empire. Shall I sue them?
No, this is a new day. We live in a time of near-enlightenment. Telling someone you're straight, in some circles, is like telling someone in Arkansas that you're gay. Haven't you ever seen Chasing Amy? =)
DISPLACED NEW YORKER: Well said, indeed! :)
ALEXIS: There is no good reason why one group of individuals should be allowed to use race-degrading epithets while another is not.
I was trying to illustrate the point that calling someone a "Honky" isn't in any way as degrading as calling someone the 'n' word==simply BECAUSE the 'n' word has historical significance. I got into an argument with my dad when I was about 10 years old. He said that calling someone the 'n' word wasn't bad because that person could just turn around and call him a 'honky'. It's NOT the same thing. (My father has since grown up and learned that the 'n' word is inappropriate.)
Are we having our first argument?? I guess the honeymoon's over, huh??
;)
LOL @ your "a little bent" phrase. Love it love it.
Give me a hint, first. Do I know you or something? Or is my slip showing?
Yes to the former, and I have no way of knowing about the latter!!
Please don't try to guess on the blog. Just email me. I'll be offline for four days, so please email me today, or just wait until Monday. Thanks.
Heh. I've had friends try to out themselves to me before and my response also has always been "No sh*t!"
Then their response ranged from "how did you know?" to "oh, I thought you would be bothered by that."
For me, I could care less. if you're cool to me, I'll be cool to you. If you can make me laugh, you have a friend for life.
. . .
Birdman?
ZOMBIE SLAYER: I knw you were cool the first time I read your blog!!! I'm so glad that our paths have crossed! To a long, FUNNY, friendship!
L>T: Oh my gosh...I must not have actually written what I meant to say, because I was NEVER intimating that one group of people could claim that the slurs against them were more offensive.
Do I think the 'n' word is more potent than being called a 'fag'? Yes, I do; although it would matter drastically who was saying it.
I'm not in any way, shape, or form saying that it's okay to be called 'white trash', but it's not okay to use the 'n' word. Actually, 'white trash' is more on par with the 'n' word than 'honky'.
This was my point: If my father had called someone the 'n' word, that would have been much more biting than if he was called a 'honky' if only because MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THE HISTORY OF THE WORD HONKY. He would never get offended, as he wouldn't relate it to anything bad, other than himself being called a name.
Look, I wasn't trying to ruffle feathers...I do think there is a BIG difference in telling someone that you are 'gay' rather than telling someone that you are 'straight'. The military's stance on this issue illustrates my point beautifully. It's f-d up.
But, hey, let's lighten up a bit, people! The posts on this blog are supposed to have you tripping over yourself while rolling on the floor with laughter! :)
Anyway, if you read the preceding post, you'll learn first hand that I know all too well what it's like to be 'thrown into the garbage'. Oh yeah. ;)
Curious. Can a 'gay man' use the term, 'bent' as well?
Hmm...
I love the "little bent" line, it's so cute. I also really love your blog. I'll definitely be back! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ;)
P.S. Thanks for dropping by my blog the other day... I really needed the uplifting, so thanks for that too!
Rulers were made to be broken.
People like houses can be a lot more interesting when "a little bent"...it adds charachter.
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